Fear is one of the big things that hold us back from doing what we want to do, and doing it to our full ability. It makes us hesitate, second-guess, pull back from the pivotal moment when the right action could make the critical difference. It sabotages our success instead of ensuring it.
Oddly, fear has its roots in self-protection. The fear reflex is designed to keep us safe from serious harm, and in cases where danger is real — facing down a sharp-toothed predator in the wild, for example — it has its upsides.
Few of the many things we fear in our industrialized society will actually cause us serious harm, though. We fear looking foolish, or being embarrassed, or being wrong. We fear failure, financial insecurity perhaps. These may be uncomfortable, but they are not dangerous.
And … they have not actually happened yet!
I mean that fear is usually based on anticipation that something bad will happen — something that actually does not yet exist. And fear is happening to us at a pre-verbal, unintentional level. Meaning, the fear is not based on a clear-eyed assessment of what is, and all the factors present in the situation. It is a knee-jerk reaction.
Will the worst happen? Who can say? What is the worst that can happen? Is the gain worth the risk? What can you do to maximize chances of success and minimize excessive risk?
Our patterns of fearfulness are actually preventing us from meeting the challenge we seek, from finding the growth we want. Fortunately, we don’t have to stay blocked by fear.
Coaching is not a deep and wrenching exploration of the roots of our fear. What it is, is a clear strategy leading to concrete steps for understanding your own fear and creating a personal success plan to stay conscious and powerful instead of at the mercy of your reflexes. It needn’t take long. Most people get life-changing results in a short time.
Will you eliminate fear, always, 100%? No, and it’s not reasonable to expect to. But if fear is running the show instead of your best and highest potential, it’s worth getting it sorted out better!
Preston Larus, CPC 