Complete the following phrase: “The ocean is …
What did you write? The ocean is … salty? Cold? Vast? Teeming with life? Scary? My favorite place? The last place in the world I would want to be?
“The map is not the territory,” said a great scholar.* Put another way, he said, “The word is not the thing.” Others have said “The menu is not the meal.”
And the ocean is not the words you or I use to describe it. So vast is it, so diverse, so complex, that we can not capture with mere words even a tiny cross-section. The chemistry of it, the color, the species living in it, from the microscopic to the mighty– the incredible sheer abundance of it — defies our language to capture it.
And yet, we believe we know it, and believe the truth of the labels we apply to it.
How do we do this in our own lives? We have labels and shorthand and abbreviations of thought and meaning, like “There is just not enough time,” or “Money is the root of all evil,” or ______________ (fill in one of your favorite parent’s favorite sayings here).
We need these abbreviations to make sense of a world that, like the ocean, is too vast for our comprehension. But let’s also understand that a label can only take us so far. And we can become captured by a label and mistake it for reality — and find ourselves stuck inside of that.
What does this mean for us, trying to eke out a happy life on this big hairy planet? And what does it have to do with coaching?
Sure, coaching is often about performance and accountability and plans and processes. AND it is also about examining the labels we have assigned to certain things, circumstances, and people in our lives … the things we hold to be true, but which hold us back from following through on our plans and processes.
We like the familiar, the safe, the predictable. It’s human.
AND, we thrill to the unknown. We wonder what if. We strive to break free and do something amazing.
Often we find that what is preventing us from that is a limiting belief that we were only barely even aware we had! We need others to help us see these beliefs, which is why humans travel in packs. A professional coach is your partner in discovery, trained specifically to help you uncover these limiting beliefs.
The map is not the territory. The word is not the thing. I find that comforting. It means that there is so much more available than is readily apparent, and that is exciting.
If you’re interested in talking about this article, I’d be interested too. Let’s connect.
- * Alfred Korzybski, 1879-1950
Preston Larus, CPC 